


Don't Know How Long That I Can Last

by Hockey_3720



Series: Hit Me Like A Heart Attack [2]
Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 05:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hockey_3720/pseuds/Hockey_3720
Summary: When they got to the bedroom, Julian helped Danny strip from his clothes and slide into bed, where he lied back into the fluffy white pillows and closed his brown eyes. After a minute or two, his breathing evened out and Julian moved over to close the shades, so Danny wouldn’t be affected by the sunlight when his hungover ass would wake up.He stripped from his own clothes and slide into his side of the bed. He sat there for a few minutes and looked down at Danny’s sleeping face. Danny looked to be so relaxed, so content, and so young. Julian brought a hand up and brushed some of Danny’s hair off his forehead before he leaned down and place a light kiss there. As he pulled away, he sighed and let a hand drift down so it was cupping Danny’s dark stubble.





	Don't Know How Long That I Can Last

Danny sighed when he pulled into the garage to see Julian’s car gone. He was looking forward to getting home, and talking to Julian about another shitty, draining practice. When he came home weeks ago, feeling like he wasn’t good enough, like he’d never be good enough, Julian was there to comfort him, to make sure he was okay. 

The problem though, is despite the fact that Julian is always there to help him and keep him content with life, days like these, he wanted to down a few drinks and forget everything that happened. He wanted to be alone and have no human contact, because he felt he wasn’t good enough. 

He unlocked the door with his keys, dropped them, along with his duffle bag on the counter. Then he reached up to grab his newly acquired bottle of Jim Beam. When he managed to get the top off, he brought the bottle up to his mouth, then swallowed once… then twice… then three times… before he knew it, half of the burning liquid was gone from the bottle and the world began to spin. 

The one thing Danny’s always been taught is that you can't use alcohol to drown your feelings, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The physical and mental ache that’s been present since Julian hasn’t been on the field with him was beginning to take its toll on him. He no longer knows how to deal with it. 

Danny held onto the counters as he made his way into the hall, and then freely walked into the living room where he collapsed on the couch-- face down. Tears began to fall from his eyes. “I’m not good enough,” his muffled voice mumbled as his lips began to quiver. “I’m never good enough. Why can’t I do anything right?” He managed to turn himself so he was lying on his side and a hand was covering his eyes. As more tears fell from his eyes, he began to drift off, into a world of white static. 

When Danny came to again, Julian was calling his name. 

“Danny? Bubs? Where are you,” Julian called as he put his keys on the counter next to Danny’s, then zeroed in on the half empty bottle of Jim Beam. He shuffled over to it and looked at it, as if to confirm that it was actually half empty. 

He sighed and put it down on the counter, then turned around and made it into the living room with just a few strides. “Danny?” He looked down at Danny as concern flooded his blue eyes. 

Danny’s watery brown eyes opened and looked up at Julian. “J-Jules,” he slurred out. 

Julian sighed and moved so Danny could sit up. “Don’t,” was all that Danny let out as his world began to spin and he closed his eyes. 

“It’s only a second, Bubs,” Julian mumbled as he slid in and helped Danny back down so Danny’s head was resting on his thigh. “What happened?” Julian’s voice was soft and caring as he laced a hand in Danny’s dark hair and looked down at him with worry. 

“Bad D-,” Danny cut himself off with a hiccup. “Day.” His eyes were sleepy as he looked up at Julian. 

Julian sighed and shook his head as he placed one hand on Danny’s stomach. “Bubs, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s not healthy.” 

“So? I’ll n-never be-,” he hiccuped again, “good e-enough.” His eyes slowly closed and he leaned further into Julian’s warm touch. “This makes it all better.” 

Julian shook his head as he looked down at Danny. “No, Bubs, that’s not the answer. And it's definitely not healthy.” 

Danny’s eyes fell closed again, and his breathing evened out. Julian looked down at Danny and sucked in a long breath. He didn’t know what to do about Danny, he knew that Danny took his injury a lot harder than he even did, but he didn’t think Danny would be this affected by him not being on the field. 

Julian sighed as he studied Danny’s tear stained cheeks, and the calm rise and fall of his chest. After a few seconds, his breathing became in even, and Danny’s brown eyes stared up at his. 

Danny’s hands moved up to his stomach. “Don’t feel good,” he mumbled and sucked in a shaky breath. 

“Do you need to throw up,” Julian asked as he looked down at Danny with concern. 

“Y-Yeah,” Danny groaned out and closed his eyes. “I-I…” He sucked in a breath and held it. 

Julian rolled his eyes as he carefully moved away from under Danny and moved to the kitchen to grab the waste basket. When he came back, Danny looked as if he was turning green. Julian swooped down and thrusted the waste basket into Danny’s arms; Danny easily took it and let what looked like pure Jim Beam leave his stomach and empty into the trash can. 

After a second, Julian sat down next to Danny and rubbed at Danny’s back as Danny’ retched into the basket. “You’ll feel better after it’s all out, Bubs,” Julian mumbled as he watched Danny dry heave. 

When he was done throwing up, Julian pulled Danny into him as Danny cried. “Shh, Shh,” Julian mumbled into Danny’s dark hair as Danny cried into his chest. “You’re okay, Danny.” 

Danny shook his head against Julian. “N-No I’m not. Stop trying to make me feel good about myself. I really am not worth your breath,” Danny sobbed into Julian’s chest. 

“Danny, you’ll always be worth it. Why don’t we get you do bed so we can snuggle,” Julian asked softly as he ran a hand up and down Danny’s upper arm. 

“N-No,” Danny cried. “I can’t. I-I’m not good enough for you. I-I’ll be out tomorrow. Please just leave me alone.” 

“What? There's no way Danny. I love you and I’m not letting you leave. I care about you and you need to realize that,” Julian mumbled. “You need to realize that you are enough. You’re my everything.” 

Danny just sniffled and shook his head. 

“Just… Just… Let’s get you to bed. I can’t carry you because of my knee,” Julian whispered and pulled Danny up into a standing position with him. 

Danny wrapped an arm around Julian’s back and followed the movements of his boyfriend. When they got to the stairs, Danny shook his head. “Come on, Bubs, let's get you up. Our bed will be so much more comfortable than the guest room,” Julian mumbled into Danny’s ear. 

“Fine,” Danny gumbled out as he began to put one foot in front of the other as Julian kept him balance on the way up the stairs.

When they got to the bedroom, Julian helped Danny strip from his clothes and slide into bed, where he lied back into the fluffy white pillows and closed his brown eyes. After a minute or two, his breathing evened out and Julian moved over to close the shades, so Danny wouldn’t be affected by the sunlight when his hungover ass would wake up. 

He stripped from his own clothes and slide into his side of the bed. He sat there for a few minutes and looked down at Danny’s sleeping face. Danny looked to be so relaxed, so content, and so young. Julian brought a hand up and brushed some of Danny’s hair off his forehead before he leaned down and place a light kiss there. As he pulled away, he sighed and let a hand drift down so it was cupping Danny’s dark stubble. 

“I love you, Danny, so much,” he mumbled and shook his head a bit. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. I really do wish you’d realize how much everyone loves you… How much everyone cares about you… It would be so hard without you here. Please-” Julian cut himself off as some hot tears went streaming down his face. “Please stay strong, Bubs. I need you. I love you… just… Please, Danny.” 

More tears fell down his cheeks as he lied down and pulls Danny to him. “Just please.” He places a hand on Danny’s chest, just to make sure he could feel him breathing as he began to drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
